Searching for Brilliance in Wooden Soles

No one warns you about the high school hallways as a freshman with a trapper keeper. Seniors brush past with little forgiveness. Lockers are decorated with cheerleading posters and magnetic mirrors. The more popular the student, the more decorated the locker. I approached high school with dreams of being noticed by senior boys. I wanted high school to be a time where all of my awkward moments could be forgotten-- where I would become cool. I was never cool, and if I ever was, I never knew it. As far as I was concerned, I was never noticed by the handsome senior boy I had crushed and swooned about. I was the gangly freshman who once baked too long in a tanning booth and came out looking like a red raccoon. Time was never on my side. The hallway was empty when I arrived. Classrooms were full and books were opened. I was perpetually late and could be heard from the other end of the hallway, running in clonky wooden soled shoes.

Our school was small with one main hallway that was impossible to maneuver through between classes. My class had 125 graduates, and it was difficult to become lost when everyone knew one another by name. I never dated in high school. I was never asked out by the dreamy senior I hoped for. I found it difficult when I barely had enough time for myself. I was always involved in multiple extracurricular activities and sang the National Anthem at sporting events. I was fairly quiet, but had little stage fright and was able to sing in front of audiences up to 900 people. I played plenty of sports and found my evenings wasted in plyometrics and bycep curls. I was competitive, but never competitive enough to be a first string athlete. I was used mainly for defense in practice. For a gag gift from my basketball coach, I was given a pompom for being such a wonderful cheerleader on the bench.

I was a junior when the drama department threw a musical. I auditioned without aim. All I was hoping was a small part that would fit into my busy basketball schedule. The cast was called and my name was listed next to the lead. I was shocked. That was the busiest season of my life. I was playing both JV and Varsity basketball with both practices (morning and evening), evening games, and play practices afterwards. There were plenty of seniors with beautiful voices and stage presence, but I was given a chance to be the star. I was given such an important role when I least expected it.

I grew immensely from that experience. I realized I could do anything when a teacher or coach gave interest in my success. I remember art being an area I was unable to fit into my schedule until I realized I needed to make it a part of my life again. Although I was fairly happy in high school, I was never happy enough. I have always fought with depression, and my busy schedule was merely an escape from feeling down. I began missing art desperately. My senior year came quickly and art class was something I had to do. I found myself spending as much free time as I had in the art classroom. I looked to my art teacher for support. It was her classes that helped me realize I needed to continue and live surrounded by art.

High school is different for everyone, and a notion I hope to apply as a teacher is that although everyone is different, most students want to be noticed. High school students are awkward, emotional, and confused. They look for support, and I hope to be of guidance when I begin teaching. Self-recognition can only be achieved with the help of others. I want to help students realize their brilliance, their talents and their future.